I do like a generous size bath and the big oval bath in the lagoon-side safari suite at Mosiac Farm, could fit little ole me and my 6ft man. The only problem was that that neither I nor Man, could reach both the spout and the taps at the same time. We had to run the bath in tandem, him on the taps, me on the spout (not elegant). 
But once in, it was all worth it.
As I galloped along the water’s edge of Oyster Bay Lodge’s own 3.5km beach, I couldn’t help letting out a “yeehaa”.
I was supposed to stay just one night at Oyster Bay Lodge, but arriving at dusk and leaving early morning on a media tour, just wasn’t enough. So, being a safari tart, I asked if they wouldn’t mind if I stayed another night. They thought I was a chancer, which I probably am, but a quick google search of yours truly showed that I am a real travel writer, and no novice. I’m so glad they agreed, because otherwise I would have missed my “yeehaa” and all the feelgood that is still running through my veins after a perfect beach ride. I would have also missed chatting to owner Hans Verstrate, who is a man that makes you search into your soul and question yourself.
I wouldn’t mind going to Heaven if it was like Singita Lebombo. I have been here once before (Lebombo, not Heaven) but this visit had a more profound effect on me. The subtle change in décor, from touches of lime green and grey amongst a sea of white, to a palate of ripening corn through straw to old oak, sang to my soul. What can I say? There are things that can dramatically influence the way you feel and Singita Lebombo cosseted me in waves of harmony and tranquillity.
In a previously pubished review, I said that Singita Lebombo is like existing inside a magazine photo shoot. It’s cool contemporary design would not look out of place if were situated by palm-lined beach or in a sun-drenched city, but here it is in the heart of the African bush looking perfectly comfortable.
Here I am, gobsmacked, at Elandsfontein Private Nature Reserve, about an hour north of Cape Town along the West Coast.
It’s so blimmin’ nice here and I hadn’t expected it. Sonqua Manor - the accommodation on the Elandsfontein reserve - is a full-on safari lodge of the best sort, in an area where good taste is not usually a driving factor. (Nearby lagoon-side Langebaan town is a prime example of bad taste houses in a beautiful setting).
But Sonqua Manor isn’t like that. It’s got safari style in abundance, allowing the gently undulating, fynbos wilderness to take centre stage. Completely open to the view, the lounge and dining areas have no front wall, which forces you to stare out to the low bush and a horizon of blue sky.
There’s a constant hum of insects, frogs, birds and bees, with the occasional antelope, buffalo, zebra or ostrich breaking the blurred outline of the bush. I keep looking up from my screen to admire it and to see what bird is chirping so loudly or whether the leaf-mimicking bug has moved. Then pop! my laptop battery goes - oh what the hell, do I really have to work right now?
Game Experience: Play hide and seek with the Big Five in this bushy, hilly reserve.
Rangers: Ask for Justinus by name and you will get a top guide who’s funny too.
Decor: Mediaeval heavy metal with 21st century twist - very masculine but very luxurious with private Jacuzzi sunk into each deck.
Food: Fabulous in look and taste. Lots of game meat and yummy veggie options too.
Staff: Stunning staff, all amazingly helpful with meal room service that had Frans trotting up and down the long paths delivering a 4-course meal (one course at a time), with a big smile.
Sediba was conceived through an overabundance of testosterone. It is a bastion of a place, built with huge burnished rocks that litter the surface of the hillsides in the Welgevonden Game Reserve, just 3 hours north of Johannesburg.
Sediba is a man’s world. It’s like a mediaeval fortress with a giant double doorway that creaks open to reveal a huge dark bedroom. The metal-studded doors close behind you with a ‘Hummer’ of a clunk. Iron wheel-shaped chandeliers criss-crossed with beaten metal, hang from the rafters on monster chains, and cast-iron holders for flaming torches are fixed on exterior walls.
Nedile Lodge Overview:
Game Experience: Riaan the Ranger’s party trick is finding lion and leopard in 38,000 hectares of Big Five reserve.
Decor: It doesn’t get more traditional safari than this; wood, stone, thatch and African artefacts harmoniously combined in tones of brown.
Food: Delicious dinners with local game meats a speciality, but unmemorable lunches.
Extras: one of the best views in the reserve is from the enticing rock swimming pool
The view from Nedile lodge is fantastic. From every room, deck and even the swimming pool, you look across the top of about twenty rolling hills that disappear into a far distance. This feels like a million miles from civilization because there are no other lights to be seen in the dead of night. In reality, it’s a mere morning’s drive from Johannesburg in the Welgevonden Game Reserve of the Waterberg Mountains.
This is Big Five game country, but such is the thickness of the bush, the rockiness of the terrain and the height of the grass, that finding them can be tricky. I sometimes talk about ‘soft safari’ where the animals are almost guaranteed, well this is ‘hard safari’, where searching for the animals and the anticipation this creates, is part of the process. This means that when you see a herd of elephant or some antelopes leaping across the track, an elegant giraffe wrapping its tongue around acacia thorn branches or a white rhino and calf, it’s a treat. One thing you are sure to see are ubiquitous impala - the most successful animal in the bush - and warthog families snufflin in 
the earth. These handsome piggies usually nibble the grass on their knees because their short neck is a design flaw and they can’t quite reach the ground. I adore I these little critters.
Ka’Ingo Overview
Game Experience: See lots of game like lion, rhino, buffalo and elephant, giraffe, lots of buck and snuffling warthog.
Decor: Inviting beds and a bright refurbishment in progress as I left.
Food: Malawian’s are renowned for being great chefs and there are two at Ka’Ingo. Taste some of the best meat in SA, especially game like kudu, eland and wildebeest from the local butcher.
Staff: Staff at Ka’Ingo are a really happy bunch - it seems they really like working here and it shows.
Spa: Ask for Elizabeth and you will experience an unforgettable massage.
Kids: They are welcome here. One extended family of 35 take over the whole place once a year, but bringing that many isn’t a pre-requisite.
Spafari is the latest buzz word in African safari travel and it refers to a holiday where you can combine spa and safari. If both elements can provide pleasure in an equal measures, then I reckon you’ve hit the jackpot. That’s how I felt at Ka’Ingo.
First thing to happen was a hand massage - this was just a ‘welcome to Ka’Ingo’ reminder that safari is no longer just about watching animals. This spa offers the lot, but if they have a lot of guests book quickly ‘cause you really don’t want to miss a massage from Lizzie. She has magic hands that seek out all those knots then firmly makes them a thing of the past.
Can you imagine lying on the massage bed then hearing lions roar just a few hundred metres away? That’s what happened this morning, except I wasn’t on the massage bed, I was still under my duvet. The pair of male lions that I’d seen on yesterday’s afternoon game drive, were giving it all they had. For over an hour they took turns to roar in a way that only lions know how. It’s the kind of noise that makes the ground vibrate and your heart miss a beat.
Maun is the gateway town into what is perhaps the ultimate safari area; Botswana’s Okavango Delta. But only a couple of years ago the choice of accommodation in Maun was pretty dire. So why stay in Maun you might think? Well, firstly it is the only town for many miles, secondly after a long international flight and an internal flight from a major airport like Johannesburg, you may reach Maun at an inopportune time to take your final flip into the Okavango Delta. Or thirdly, you may just be so exhausted that you need a night or two to recover before flying into the Park on a 6 or 8-seater light aircraft and paying top Dollar prices while staying there.
In which case, I would recommend staying in Motsentsela Tree Lodge, or just ‘Tree Lodge’ as it is known. It is only 15km outside town on 200 hectares of mixed bushland, dotted with springbok and zebra and other non-threatening animals. You can wait a day or so before you come face to face with something capable of eating you in the Delta itself, by which time you will be awake and ready to witness the great beasts of Africa.
“Can you come to Lake Kariba on Thursday for a week?”, said a friendly voice. “I know it’s Monday today but I have space for one more person on my houseboat going down the length of Lake Kariba.”
My initial reaction was that I couldn’t get organised in three days, then the yearning for adventure and curiosity as to how Zimbabwe was coping took over, and without noticeable hesitation, I said, “Yes, I’d love to.”
I have fond memories of Lake Kariba, when about ten years ago I met Zim’s version of Crocodile Dundee and his sidekick, whom I named Camel Safari Man. These two hunks…..but that is another story, which you will find on this blog in due course. I thought this time was likely to be more sedate and what could be better than being on a houseboat, travelling from one end of this inland sea to another. There is nothing much to do on a boat but relax, and that’s exactly what I settled in to do.
The 8-bedded Lady Jacqueline, run by Flame Lilly Holidays, whose charismatic owner is Brett McDonald, had an empty leg to run from Kariba to Binga, and Brett wanted to show us that travel in Zimbabwe is not just possible, but still a pleasure.
The Cherry on the Safari Cake
Just when I thought life on safari couldn’t get any better, it did.
It was my birthday and I was sitting in a bubbling hot spring on the edge of the Kafue River in Zambia. Fireflies were dancing around my head and a fellow journalist on this press trip - a rather tall, handsome fella - was giving my shoulders a massage (c’mon it was my birthday). I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.
Large boulders surrounded the hot springs, protecting it from an unannounced visit by hippos or crocodiles. There I sat with a glass of bubbly in hand and a big smile on my face. If this wasn’t enough, I was then informed that Hippo Lodge offer 
massages at this spot too. This information served to put the cherry on top of the safari cake for me and I mentally awarded Hippo Lodge in Zambia’s Kafue National Park, top honours in my safari lodge repertoire.
